It is sometimes an appropriate response to reality to go insane.
There is a world in which I am happy, a world in which my life is filled with things. In this world I run a spa and a clothing store. I wake up at 6:30, make my husband breakfast as he gets ready for his day. We are in love and happy. There is talk of kids, it’s been just us for two years now and it seems to be time.
Our anniversary is a week away though and I have the best news ever. I am pregnant yes, he’s going to be a father. I can’t wait to tell him, it makes me all jumpy keeping a secret from him so long. Just one more week to go… I can do it.
I am already considering promoting my assistant to manager. She is absolutely amazing and knows how I like to have things done. I will need her on top of thing, once the baby is here. OMG!!! I am having a baby, me… Oh lordy lord this is so surreal…
…Snap my employees already know I’m out there to begin with but I can help laughing to myself as I read the messages he sends. Its Thursday so I didn’t expect it, he has meetings all day… Damn he’s wearing that purple tie today. J Hell, I need to get home already. What time is it?
It was a good day, and I am happy to be heading home. Fantasia is playing loud on my stereo, as I sing along and plan dinner. Maybe there’ll be enough time to get my evening yoga in before dinner, if not then it’s before bed. I arrive home and yes there is time for yoga before dinner after all.
Yoga done, shower done and dinner ready. As we are about to eat I feel this overwhelming sense of gratefulness and thankfulness as I listen to my husband say grace. This is happiness Lisa, you did it. You are happy….
As I awake and look around, hello reality. It’s only a dream I remind myself. Only a dream. So I get my ass up and face my day. But not too disheartened because maybe just maybe tonight again I can play pretend.